Anxiety is a big part of my life. I guess I have always had it but it's only been these past few years I've accepted it. The thing is I have no idea how to cope with it, I should be in control of my life but instead the anxiety is in control. Anxiety disorder is a 'feeling of unease such as a worry or fear'. It affects me in several ways on a daily basis:
Isolation
My anxiety has taken over my life, the last thing on my mind is socialising. The thought of meeting up with friends excites most people but it fills me with dread. I rarely agree to meet up or go places with friends and nine times out of ten I make up a last minute excuse and cancel. As stupid as this may sound I refuse to go out anywhere alone or at night unless I'm in a car, it's that bad I won't even go to my local shop just twenty feet away from my front door.
Irritability
I mainly get this when I'm shopping. There's nothing worse than having to wait in a queue. I feel irritable, I can't stand still and begin to panic then pace up and down. It's common practice to leave my stuff in the queue, and walk out even when I'm next to be served. I just drop anything, and escape straight away.
Paranoia
Everywhere I go I feel as if everyone is looking at me, pointing and laughing. It's like those paintings you see in films, where the eyes follow you, that is exactly how I feel, eyes constantly watching my every move.
Sorry that you have to experience some uncomfortable feelings when you are out! I find it great that you share those feelings for others out there through your blog. I am sure many people feel the same and it's nice to know you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteWow! I am so sorry that you have to deal with such an intense emotion. It must be very hard for you to relax and just enjoy life. I used to be VERY self-conscious about my looks, clothes, the way I talk, etc. But I have now reached an age where I have come to realize that other's people opinions don't really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things. I am who I am, so like me the way I am or leave me alone! ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to be living with anxiety. Sorry that you've to go through some uncomfortable experience. But IMO talking about it or doing some mindful exercise could help.
ReplyDeleteHope you get thru this and get back your life.
ReplyDeleteYou could be describing a neighbor of mine. She seldom leaves her house. And as much as I love shopping, shopping with her causes me anxiety.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you. I was never anxious but I was bipolar and the mood swings were such a struggle. I wouldn't know what to do if I had anxiety. Forge on and write about it so people would know they are not alone.
ReplyDeleteI live with anxiety too and its the worst thing ever and ppl don't understand the seriousness of it
ReplyDeleteI have anxiety, mostly because I'm an overthinker. I have found one of the best solutions for this is to not be by myself too much. That way, I can keep my mind busy and on other things so I don't worry as much.
ReplyDeleteanxiety never disappears, you go gotta learn how to cope with it, we just need to work hard and learn to let go.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how tough it must be. What adds more to the stress is that people don't really recognize mental disorders because it's something you can't physically see, so they would perceive you as someone who's normal. Just always keep in mind that it's important to have a positive mindset!
ReplyDeleteTry this: Look around, find 5 things you can SEE, 4 things you can TOUCH, 3 things you can HEAR, 2 things you can SMELL & one thing you can TASTE, this should ground you & make you feel better.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering if you have tried meditation. This might help. There is a free meditation experience by Oprah and Chopra (https://chopracentermeditation.com/)...this might help you control the anxiety. Wishing you well always! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for this look into what it's like to live with anxiety. I know a lot of people who deal with it, but it's good to get a better idea of what it feels like.
ReplyDeletemy best friends suffers from anxiety and it has really taken a toll on her. i just hope that you and those around have patience to deal with anxiety
ReplyDeleteI have anxiety that manifests in a completely different way to your own. It is a horrible disorder and hard to understand as the person living with it, so I can't imagine what it's like for the people who have to live with us. I am currently about to start CBT, drinking chamomile tea (chamomile is meant to help) and possibly consider some medication. I hope you find a way out too xx
ReplyDelete