Recently I lost my Uncle John in a car accident. Dealing with death is incredibly difficult even more so when it comes suddenly and unexpectedly. I’ve never lost anyone like this before, in the past I’ve lost loved ones but they have been ill so their passing was expected which made it a little bit easier plus they had a long life whereas my Uncle was only in his thirties. 

I’ve struggled so much since he passed away and I’ve felt guilty because what I struggled with the most was witnessing the pain it’s putting my grandparents through. It wasn’t until the funeral that I felt ready to grieve. Writimg this short post has helped me I don’t want to mention him around anyone as I don’t want to upset them. Anyway, I don’t want anymore negative talk I want to remember Uncle John and the good times we had so here we go…

This time 20 years ago we were on holiday together, I was only seven and you were a teen. Far from ideal for you yet always made time for me and spent a lot of the holiday with me which goes to show how selfless you were. You’d play in the arcades and spend all your tickets on model areoplanes and we would make them together and fly them outside (we would of had more luck with paper planes). As we grow older we become busier with our own lives and sadly saw each other less but this never meant I didn’t think about you often. This just makes the memories we made even more special, only you could get me up on a dancefloor and make me dance. That’s a memory I’ll remember forever. I will always remember Uncle John for his cheeky smile, loveable nature and would do anything to protect his family.

Life is full of regrets, I regret not spending more time with and making more effort on the occasions I did see him. But I can’t keep tbinking like that I need to focus on the good times. All I want to say is make the most of your time with your loved ones whilst they’re still here. Life is for liivng, pick up the phone give them a ring or a text and meet up as often as possible. Don’t put it off cause there’s no guarantee any of us will be here tomorrow. 

Grief is weird there's no other way I can describe it, one minute you're coping the next you're breaking down. They say everyone deals with grief in different ways and even if we don't accept or understand those ways it's important we pull together to support one another. 

RIP Uncle John xx